This is what happens after almost 14 years of marriage...
permanent damage.
Not from the marriage itself, mind you...but from the symbol of the marriage.
I lost the diamond out of the ring that my betrothed bought for me. Twice. And I found it. Twice. Which is insanely remarkable because it's a very small diamond (sorry honey...in his defense we got married when we were 18 so he wasn't exactly financially well established yet and I asked for a small ring).
The odds were that I wouldn't lose the diamond and find it a third time. So I decided to wear the set that used to belong to my mother-in-law.
It was a smidge smaller, but still fit.
But that was almost five years ago and, well...let's just say that I haven't gotten any thinner since then.
Hence, the situation I'm presenting you with this evening.
The rings were starting to become uncomfortable so I decided to take them off.
I removed the engagement ring with some soap, much tugging and thinking thin thoughts (much like squeezing into a pair of jeans except backwards), but the wedding band wasn't going to hear of it. No siree. He wasn't gonna budge.
My aunt and mother-in-law tried to help...actually, we'll say that the Aunt tried to help. I think the mother-in-law was trying to sabotage me. The Aunt and I tried ice water and soap, holding my hand above my head, Windex, and dental floss (if you're confused about these methods, read this). Nothing proved successful...probably because somewhere during the middle of our efforts my mother-in-law suggested that we soak my fingers in hot, salty water. So we did.
Um. Doesn't salt cause swelling?
Yes. Yes it does.
After suffering defeat in our ring removal fun I went home and presented the challenge to my husband.
He brought out this:
It looks scarier than it actually was. He wielded this thing like a bolt cutter champion. One little snip and I was free. I felt very liberated...though I remain happily married.
I'm not sure my finger will ever return to normal. I may have a permanent ring dent.
Maybe I'll start a new trend...who needs ACTUAL jewelry anyway?
B
15 comments:
So you demolished your wedding band!? Gone! Broken! Poof! No longer useable?
sounds like a hint to hubby for new wedding ring. when is your anniversary?
HUBBY CAN LOOK AT LINK BELOW FOR NEW RING FOR ADORABLE WIFE OF 14 PAIN STAKING YEARS.
Anniversary is March 2...not far off, but having been married to me for those 13 long years my shnookums knows that I would much prefer new camera equipment than a new ring. That's the beauty of being married for so long. :)
B
resources can be varied...my current gold band came from the pawn shop and am happy with the twenty dollar purchase and finger is saved from the otherwise empty it would have from to much change w/the hands and other parts that change....
Did you call your husband of 14yrs "shnookums"?That is strictly a 3yr and under word. B Might want to think about the small things like that in future blogs. We'd all hate to read the blog titled "Shnookums bolts after 15 years of marriage" all due to terms of endearment being abused.
...And the ring finger thing, forget about it. Soon that skinny part on your finger will plump out like the rest of them. Just a matter of time, believe me.
I'm sorry Mr. Scary but it is not limited too the first years of marriage. When the marriage and the love within it grow then yes after 14 years "shnookums" is still totally appropriate. That said I don't believe I have laughed so hard over a blog comment in a long time, thank you:) As to the pawn shop idea it is a good one! And B you might remember that this time of year people resolve all sorts of things, any ideas:)
Maybe you should find out if they make Wedding Rings with Spandex.
PS: Wormy didn't you notice she changed rings 5 years ago, so technically she didn't demolish hers. And technically Matthew did it with those huge bolt cutters. Nice pic too:)
Yes, but that ring is still gone. Forever. Anyway, Mr. Scary, i don't know who you are, and I am not sure if I want to knowing that you have no problem telling B she has fat fingers. Haha.And, yes, Matt did do it. I personally wouldn't have trusted him with bolt cutters that close to my hand. But, B is brave.
Priester men know how to work their tools, no worries there:)
Omg! I don't think i have ever laughed so hard in my life-actually i didn't laugh out loud but the laughing inside my head is hysterical! You people are all CRAZY!
Awww poor wedding band it is gone. Maybe you can resurrect it with super glue-or duct tape. It never tends to fail to make me laugh when i am going down the road and see a car practically made out of duct tape. But it does do wonders!
We have a house here in town that when you step on the porch it squishes beacuse it's completely gray with duct tape. And wasn't I with you that one time when we seen that car and it's bumper was totally holding on by duct tape?
OUCH!as of 1/9/10 your finger still looks the same. Permenent damage 4 sure.
way to go to see if we read back.....
Post a Comment