Fat Fingers
This is what happens after almost 14 years of marriage...
permanent damage.
Not from the marriage itself, mind you...but from the symbol of the marriage.
I lost the diamond out of the ring that my betrothed bought for me. Twice. And I found it. Twice. Which is insanely remarkable because it's a very small diamond (sorry honey...in his defense we got married when we were 18 so he wasn't exactly financially well established yet and I asked for a small ring).
The odds were that I wouldn't lose the diamond and find it a third time. So I decided to wear the set that used to belong to my mother-in-law.
It was a smidge smaller, but still fit.
But that was almost five years ago and, well...let's just say that I haven't gotten any thinner since then.
Hence, the situation I'm presenting you with this evening.
The rings were starting to become uncomfortable so I decided to take them off.
I removed the engagement ring with some soap, much tugging and thinking thin thoughts (much like squeezing into a pair of jeans except backwards), but the wedding band wasn't going to hear of it. No siree. He wasn't gonna budge.
My aunt and mother-in-law tried to help...actually, we'll say that the Aunt tried to help. I think the mother-in-law was trying to sabotage me. The Aunt and I tried ice water and soap, holding my hand above my head, Windex, and dental floss (if you're confused about these methods, read this). Nothing proved successful...probably because somewhere during the middle of our efforts my mother-in-law suggested that we soak my fingers in hot, salty water. So we did.
Um. Doesn't salt cause swelling?
Yes. Yes it does.
After suffering defeat in our ring removal fun I went home and presented the challenge to my husband.
He brought out this:
It looks scarier than it actually was. He wielded this thing like a bolt cutter champion. One little snip and I was free. I felt very liberated...though I remain happily married.
I'm not sure my finger will ever return to normal. I may have a permanent ring dent.
Maybe I'll start a new trend...who needs ACTUAL jewelry anyway?
B