Before you schedule your session with me you may wish to be informed of possible detriments to you or your children's well-being.
(Let me first interject that the shots below are a newborn and then nine month comparison...I love my job.)
I will now list some events that could possibly take place while you are having family portraits made...
These are things that may or may not have happened in my studio.
I'm not admitting to anything.
Let's begin, shall we?
1. Your child could be standing on a one foot tall stool while waiting his turn to be photographed and somehow manage to flip himself off of it onto the concrete floor head first.
He might then begin to complain that he's tired at which point I...I mean, the photographer, would tell him he can't go to sleep for four hours because he might have a concussion.
2. Your child could be sitting in a wooded area in a wagon and then unexpectedly eject himself from said wagon while performing an awkward summersault with a half twist into a pile of rocks. 
It's just a coincidence that I happen to have a shot of a baby in a wagon in this particular post.
Purely coincidental.
3. Your toddler that is just learning to sit up could be sitting on a hardwood floor playing peek-a-boo with me, er...the photographer. He might unexpectedly push himself backwards and bonk his head on the floor despite his fathers best efforts at catching him, which included a fully body dive across the entire length of the studio.
For a visual, picture a slide into home base only face first and while wearing a sweater, dress shoes and nicely coifed hair.
4. Your child could get bubbles in his/her eyes.
5. He/She could get cake up their nose or in their ears.
6. They may eat cheese puffs off of a slightly dusty and most likely unsanitary suitcase.
7. They may play with a mustache on a stick that has touched an untold number of noses.
8. They may be playing in a pile of leaves/vines that is suddenly suspected of being poison ivy.
(It wasn't.)
(Or at least if it was, I was never informed of an outbreak.)
9. Your child could spill an entire bottle of Magic Bubbles all over your phone.
and my personal favorite...
10. You may get urinated and defecated on by your naked newborn while holding him in your bare arm at which point you begin to gag and nearly vomit.
(And yes, of course that was a man...did you really have to ask?)
That was the short list.
Don't say you haven't been warned.
I, for one, think the results are well worth the risk of a bruise or two...
or a phone that blows bubbles.
Is there an app for that?
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Jackson & Allie".
Up next: Pierce Family
*Please note: If you haven't figured it out yet, this blog is very "tongue in cheek". I handle all my babies with care and take the needed precautions so they don't get hurt (or mentally scarred)...but sometimes even with the help of mom and dad we still miss a fall or tumble. It happens. But not often.
3 comments:
Awwww poor babies! They are both soooo cute!
Your newborn baby may fall out of a piece of fabric hanging by a log.......
Cheese puffs are unsanitary already so any surface they are eaten from is fine;)
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