We all have them.
If you say you don't then I lump you in the same catergory as those who claim they never pick their nose.
Everyone picks their nose.
Yes, everyone.
The makers of Everyone Poops should write the book Everyone Nose Picks...it would be a best seller.
But more on that in other post (I know, you're on the edge of your seat about that one).
Back to irrational fears.
Here are some of mine:
-- If I'm outside at night and I'm walking up our porch steps (which are open to underneath the porch), I run up them so any wolf (think G'Mork from The Neverending Story)/snake//ROUS that is residing under the porch won't grab my ankle, pull me under and eat me alive.
I realize I probably don't taste like filet mignon, but those types of characters don't have a very refined pallet.
They're out for quantity not quality...and boy howdy do I have quantity.
--When I'm getting in bed at night I will run and jump into bed (if I get a heebie jeebie feeling) so the criminal/psycho/boogie man doesn't grab me, pull me under the bed and chop me into bits.
Hey.
Don't judge me.
Just because I happen to sleep on a platform bed that happens to sit square on the floor with no underneath does not mean that my fears are invalid to me.
Besides, these are irrational fears we're talking about, people.
Do you even know what that means?
It means "not logical or reasonable".
Therefore, while I realize the odds of a psycho-wolf-criminal-snake-or other scary thing being under my bed is minus 17 percent, my brain does not accept that logic and I jump or run anyway.
--Sometimes, when I'm walking up the basement stairs I will walk sideways or sometimes even backwards so that I am ready to deflect the blows of any would-be attacker that's trying to sneak up behind me.
Usually, when I'm walking up the basement stairs I'm also carrying piles of laundry or dirty dishes (and in times past, babies) which makes my backwards accent quite challenging if not dangerous.
But I still do it.
All in the name of self-preservation against non-existent creepy things.
Again, the key here is irrational fears.
You know you have them too.
Don't deny it.
Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
And if you're a wolf/criminal/snake/boogie man/psycho/ROUS reading this and I've just given you a previously unthought of idea to sneak under my porch and lay in wait for me so you can grab my leg as I walk up my steps, just remember this:
I carry a gun.
Not really.
But I have mace.
Not really.
But I know Tae Bo.
Really.
And I'm not afraid to use it.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Maria Mayfield".
2 comments:
Gorgeous girl! And these may be some of your best work ever, love the pictures. Of course we all walk backwards/run from ROUS's because as Wesley learned they really do exist:)
Ok brandi when i read this i couldn't help but realize that i do the same exact thing! I have to run/jump to my bed before the mysterious heebediebegeebe's get to me. So i'm glad someone else admitted this fear because i thought i was the only one haha.
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