The Hot Seat

A few observations:

--I was standing in front of the pizza display case at Casey's one morning willing myself not to buy a piece of breakfast pizza.

But I was hungry.

And I have no will-power.

As the pizzas spun slowly past my face I was trying to decide if I wanted bacon or sausage.

I decided on bacon.

I then had to determine which piece looked better...bigger...cheesier.

It was at this point that I suddenly pictured myself as Indiana Jones (in The Last Crusade) standing before the goblets after just watching the Nazi general die a horrific death because he drank from the wrong goblet and the last Knight is whispering, "He choose poorly" and Sean Connery is in my head saying, "Choose wisely my son, choose wisely."

And the pizza keeps spinning and I start to get dizzy though I'm not sure if it's from hunger or the stress of trying to choose the best piece so I just reach in and grab one and hope it doesn't clog my arteries too badly.

--The toilet in my bathroom has hot water running into it instead of cold.

This means that if I go to the bathroom right after someone else has flushed I can feel the heat on my tushie.

This is great in the winter.

Not so great in the summer.

But Matt says he never claimed to be a plumber and I can't complain since it's really the only thing he screwed up in the building of our entire house.

Besides, women pay good money for facial steaming for more youthful looking skin, so just imagine how youthful my...

Wait.

Skip that.

--My girls had some friends over this past weekend.

Six teenage girls to be exact.

At one point all six of them were on the trampoline.

Matt looked at them all and said to me, "You realize they have over 700 pounds on that trampoline right now?"

I said that I did.

Then he ran over, jumped on the trampoline, grabbed all the girls in a big group hug, started jumping and yelled, "Let's make it 1000 pounds!"

The girls all started screaming and jumping and someone's foot touched the ground through the trampoline mat and I stood back waiting for the springs to start popping off one by one and hoped that no one would get an eye injury in the process.