Why don't I want an iPad?

I'm so perplexed.

 I have an iPhone.

But it's just the 4S.

 Which is confusing because I sometimes HAVE 4G and I also OWN a 4S.

*Throwing hands in the air in frustration.*

 Back to the iPad.

A lot of people have one.

 My BROTHER just bought one.

He wears overalls nearly every day.

 Not that people who wear overalls everyday can't be tech savvy, but it's my way of telling you that he isn't.

And he owns an iPad.

 Normally, when I see someone with some nifty gadget I want it.

 And then I go on a change saving spree and/or a Craigslist hunt so I can afford said object.

 I've seen plenty of iPads.

And plenty of my friends have one.

 But I just have no desire to own one.

  I've even tried talking myself into wanting one by trying to come up with benefits of iPad ownership.

 I couldn't find a single benefit to my owning one.

 What is wrong with me?!

 Gah!

I'm turning into one of those old ladies who doesn't appreciate new technology because it's too much trouble to learn how to use it and I'm going to be so behind all the other 35-year-olds who already own iPads and my kids won't talk to me when they get older because I won't be able to communicate on the new fangled communication because I'll still be learning how to use the iPad and then I'll die angry and alone.

 Or maybe this is me being mature.

And realizing that I don't NEED every piece of technology that comes along.