(This is a dream I had, lest you should think I'm crazier than I actually am.)
A friend of mine finally decided to let me babysit her super cute baby boy.
Except when I got him home he wasn't a baby at all.
He was a huge ham hock.
It was sort of like a twisted version of that part in Alice in Wonderland where the baby turns into a pig and runs away except my charge turned into a pig that had already been processed.
So what is one to do with a processed pig baby that has been left in their care?
Well, I put mine in a Wal-Mart bag and carried him around an amusement park.
(Remember this post in which I talked about how it seems that Wal-Mart bags are taking over the world? I apparently have deeper issues.)
My ham baby obviously didn't do much, being that he was a hunk of ham, but he did cry and that was just creepy.
Just imagine if you were holding a ten pound pork butt and it started weeping.
(Cue Psycho music.)
I held him up to someone and said, "What is wrong with him? He won't stop crying."
I somehow assumed that the fact that my "baby" was actually pork wasn't the real problem but the crying part needed addressing.
They walked away without helping me.
The dream went on with lots of twists and turns involving theme park rides, mountain climbing, a bank heist and someone chasing me with a spoon.
You can't make this stuff up, people.
It would take months to explain in detail but suffice it to say that it was weird and probably a result of a chocolate ice cream and apples with greek yogurt binge I had prior to falling asleep that night.
Yes.
I ate an entire bowl of chocolate ice cream AND a bowl of Greek yogurt dip with an apple right before I went to bed.
That's all you got out of this story?
Shame on you.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Johnna and Gaurav".
2 comments:
What a beautiful couple! Great pictures.
Yes all I got out of your story was the ice cream:) Not really, I was just trying to remember the dream I had the other day and then realized I couldn't. You continue to impress me with your recall!
That's it. You are officially crazy.
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