Did I ever tell you about the time that three of my "friends" abandoned me in my time of need?
Well, grab your box of tissue because this is a story of ultimate betrayal.
These "friends" and I had spent the day thrift shopping together.
We were at the last thrift store of the day before grabbing a bite to eat and heading home.
This store was unique from other thrift stores in that it had a selection of prom dresses, wedding gowns, and shoes...shoes that can only be described politely as "bedroom shoes".
They looked a lot like this.
We giggled at them for a while and after the other "friends" had taken their turns at trying them on I said, "I have GOT to try them on."
So I did.
I walked maybe five steps in them for fear I would fall.
As I stood towering over my "friends" I made some comment about how hilarious Matt's reaction would be if he came home to me walking around the house in them wearing an apron.
It was soon after this comment that I needed relief from the pain they were inflicting on my ankles, so I shifted my weight to one side to kick one shoe off so I could plant that foot firmly on solid ground.
The shoe had a different plan.
The plastic-y top part of the shoe had become stuck to the top of my foot.
This created a domino effect.
Since all my weight had shifted to the left side (in order to kick off the right shoe), I was balancing on one foot.
A foot that was already unbalanced in a shoe that was unrealistic for actually standing in.
I started to teeter and at that moment realized that I was definitely going down and my life flashed before my eyes.
My arms started windmilling...trying to find something to stable myself.
Nothing.
I plummeted backwards into a rack of purses.
My thumb caught the tag of an Elvis purse and ripped it off.
I ended up in a jumbled mess of Brandi parts, metal rack, tags and purses.
Oh wait!
I had "friends" with me!
Surely they were there to lend a helping hand and provide moral support?
No.
No they weren't.
One of them was crouched on the floor in the "oh-my-gosh-I'm going-to-pee-my-pants" position.
And the other two?
They ran away.
That's right.
(sniff, sniff)
They ran away and abandoned me in my time of need.
And then we laughed about it all during supper, on the drive home, and sometimes even now if they look at me funny and start laughing I know it's because they're thinking about the infamous shoe debacle.
Some friends.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Jacque Reed and Family".
6 comments:
You obviously shop with the wrong crowd. I would never abandon you!
Bahahahahahahahahahaha! Good times good times.
(other "friend" let me know about this post)
No amount of time will pass that this story will NOT bring me almost to tears in laughter.
I can still see you talking about Matt (giggle, giggle) & then your arms started swinging. My brain was not registering what I saw happening. In disbelief, the rack started to go down. I thought "No way is she gonna fall!"....It happened, I ran, peeing myself. Here come the discruntled workers...I felt like a mischievious teenager about to get in trouble. Next time you try on "bedroom shoes" I promise I will catch you if you fall!
Didn't think your post could get any better until your cohort told her side, please excuse me while I cry from laughing, if there is any peeing involved I will be the only one who knows:)
Imagin me at work, all alone in a state park with nothing to do..nothing. Then I realize I have a laptop and free internet. I think to myself I can listen to Pandora and check out B's blog. Now picture me laughing so hard i almost fall off the chair. Thanks for the amazing pictures and the great image in my head, and thanks to your friend too.
Laffing so hard n cryin!!!! But no pee!!!!
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