Dear New Car,
Thank you for having handles.
They are very useful and make my life easier.
Thank you, also, for having a sun roof so that should I ever feel the need I could hang out of it while Matt is driving through town like they do in the movies even though it wouldn't be nearly the same cruising through our one stop light town as it would be to cruise through the streets of New York with your upper torso whizzing past bright lights and neon signs.
But at least I have that option.
I do, however, have one complaint.
I'm sure you saw this coming.
Is there a reason that two weeks after I bought you the "check engine" light came on?
Did you do this on purpose?
And don't you think "check engine" is a little vague?
I'm not trying to sound ungrateful. I truly appreciate the convenience and mobility you provide to our family, and the fact that you warn me of problems at all is so kind, but I need you to be more specific about what's ailing you or just stop ailing altogether (or at least for another 100,000 miles).
Your attention to this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely,
The Crazy Woman Driver
Dear Toaster,
I could try to break this off nicely, but frankly I don't have it in me.
You have drained all tact and reasoning ability from my body.
You have one simple job. Just one.
Turn my bread into toast.
That's it!
I'm not asking for a souffle'! Just browned bread.
And you can't even handle that.
Despite the fact that I keep you nicely housed and only use whole grain bread.
Why do you make me hold your handle down in order to keep you on?
How can I possibly make eggs AND keep my finger on your lever?
It is impossible.
And you are impossible.
I am sorry if I'm being to harsh, but we must go separate ways.
I must find a toaster that isn't so dependent on me. I need my space.
And in the words of Alfalfa's (mistaken) letter to Darla, "I hate your stinking guts."
Regretfully,
The Woman Who Wants Her Bread Browned While She Is In The Other Room
Dear Camera,
You know I have deep affection for you. Really, I do.
It's not only your weight in my hands, but the soft clickety clack of your shutter that makes me happy.
You complete me.
However.
I must vent.
It seems that everyone thinks it's YOU doing all the work around here.
And while it's true that you handle a lot of the finer details such as actually capturing an image, I would just like to note that I'M the one schlepping you around.
I'M the one who sets your dials and focuses your lens and cleans you and presses your shutter release at the precise moment.
I pick the time of day for us to work, I set up the backgrounds (which are quite heavy sometimes) and I don't think you've ever once volunteered to help.
I would think that you would try to at least stick up for me when someone fawns over you and declares you to be so wonderful at taking their picture.
Just once you could tell them that this is teamwork and that you're nothing without me.
Nothing!
I'm just asking for a little appreciation is all and maybe a little back rub after a session.
Please don't leave me,
Your One True Love
Dear Chocolate,
I miss you.
But Fat needs my attention right now.
As soon as I can shake her we will be together again.
I am counting the days.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Brewington Family".
4 comments:
Great pics, great post. Your camera did a wonderful job with this family.....
A famous photographer when told he must have a great camera was heard to reply,
"Yes, I do and since you cook so wonderfully, I bet you have a great set of pots and pans!"
Use that next time!!
I'm not sure if I'm more entertained with the pictures or the letters:) Great way to start a Monday morning!
Love these pictures!
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