Dear McDonald's,

I have avoided you for many months because I have decided that I want to live.

I am eating green things and drinking water instead of eating your fake-ish food and drinking your carbonated drinks.

And while I realize that you are not the sole reason for the world's obesity and health problems, I do know that you are a big proponent because you have become so readily available.

This isn't entirely your fault...as many people just don't know how bad your food really is for them on a regular basis or they don't have any willpower...or both. 

Today I decided I would reward myself with some of your fries as I was headed out of town and needed a quick bite to eat.

Two things:

1.  The fries were not nearly as good as I remember them being.

and 

2.  You charged me twenty seven cents for a package of sweet chili sauce.

My reply?

You can have your twenty-seven cent sweet chili sauce and your nasty fries...you no longer have a hold on me, Micky D...despite the fact that the only thing I ever craved when I was pregnant were your Big Macs.

I have surpassed you in this relationship.

It is time for me to move on.

The next time I feel I need a reward I will go somewhere that has food that tastes like food and free ketchup.

I thought we could still be friends after I decided we needed a "break" but apparently that is not how you feel about the matter.

So I bid you farewell now and forever.

I hope your money and your piles of sweet chili sauce fill the void I have left in your heart.

B

PS--I may occasionally stop by to see you but it will only be so you can see how great I look without your hold on me...and maybe I'll get a half cut tea if I'm feeling generous.

You can see the rest of this session here under "Parks Two Year Old."