I can't hear.
What?
I can't hear.
What?
What?
I can't hear.
What?
I went to an ENT (Ear Nose Throat Specialist) right before we went on our trip.
I wanted to make sure it would be okay to fly since my ear had been feeling clogged for several weeks and I didn't want my ear to explode on my first flight (these things happen...the internet says so).
(In hindsight, I think the exploding ear would have been better than the vomiting but I wasn't given a choice in the matter.)
I assumed the doctor would put a tube in the offending ear and that would be that.
No such luck.
After describing my issues to him, he shoved a camera down my nose and looked in both of my ears.
(Two separate things. He shoved a camera down my nose. He then looked in both of my ears. He didn't look into my ears from a camera in my nose. At least I don't think he did.)
He concluded that I did, in fact, need a tube in my left ear.
After I signed a paper saying he could violate my eardrum by shoving a tube into it, he looked into my ear with a stronger ear lookie thingy and then declared, "Wait. A. Minute."
You never want to hear "Wait. A. Minute" from your doctor in the tone that mine used.
Ever.
The diagnosis?
I already had a hole in my left eardrum.
It was tiny so he couldn't see it with the smaller ear lookie thingy but only upon closer examination.
Guess what?
You don't need a tube in your ear if you already have a hole in your eardrum.
Good news, right?
Wrong.
This means something else is wrong making me unable to hear.
What something?
My incus bone is gone.
Not like I misplaced it or accidentally left it in the Wal-Mart shopping cart like I did my cell phone, but like disintegrated.
I'm told that I need plastic surgery.
And we're not talking the glamorous kind...nor are we talking the kind that Matt would like me to undergo.
We're talking ear plastic surgery.
To have a prosthetic incus bone installed.
(Installed?)
Which the ENT can't even perform. It has to be done by a special specialist.
I'm sure that's cheap for someone with no health insurance (raising eyebrow).
Also, he wants me to have a biopsy on my adenoids because one is larger than the other and I may have a tumor behind my ear.
("It's not a tuma."...Name that movie.)
Oh.
And I have a deviated septum.
The wall between my nostrils is pushed to one side.
This explains why it's hard to breath out of one side of my nose.
It also explains why I could never get a Neti pot to work.
So...in the grand scheme of things what's a little prosthetic ear bone or an adenoid tumor?
Nothing really.
I'll probably even survive.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Huffman Four Year Old."
6 comments:
Oh, you poor thing! :(
Kindergarten Cop:) Sorry, can't help myself. And while I'm very sorry about your woes, I was to distracted by these AMAZING pictures. Seriously, some of your best stuff yet, she is adorable.
I think it would be cheaper on Matt to just take you out back and shoot you!
I feel really awful that you have my child in the midst of all this!! You truly are a great friend AND Superwoman!!
These pics are ADORABLE ... you take awesome pics, but whomever was the "stylist" for this shoot MADE THE SHOOT :) Great work, Brandi :)
Oh & sorry about the ear thing... that sounds horrific. And, coming from another girl without health insurance, you better get one of those cheap hearing aides, because more than horrific, it sounds EXPENSIVE!!!!! lol
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