Summer, my mom, my sister and I went grocery shopping together yesterday.
On the way home we had the following conversation:
Mom (to Summer, who happened to be eating fish from Captain D's): I didn't know you liked fish.
Me: She loves fish. And shrimp. And lobster. And practically any other sort of seafood.
Sister: She has expensive taste.
Me: Mercede does too, but she doesn't like seafood. She likes steak and fancy pasta dishes.
Still Me (casting a glance toward my sister): Remember how it was when WE went out to eat?
"PLEASE let us have our own fries! Please!?"
"You'll eat what we give you and you'll like it."
Mom (laughing): I think I did you guys a disservice by not letting you eat out so much.
Me: Why?
Mom (directing her comment to my sister): Because now your sister eats like a lumberjack!
Gasp!
Why I never!
What authority declared that a lumberjack would eat an entire foot long Subway sandwich in one sitting?
They would definitely eat at least two.
I'm no lumberjack.
I'm dainty.
Besides, while I'm eating said Subway foot long I hold my pinkie out the entire time.
That has to count for something on the lumberjack vs. non-lumberjack scale.
Somehow the conversation turned to Robert Downey Jr.
Does there really need to be a reason for a conversation to turn to Robert Downey Jr.?
I didn't think so.
Mom was talking about a movie he was in in the late 80's...
Me: I love him.
Sister: He is a very good looking man.
Mom: He's looking pretty rough these days.
Sister and I in exact unison: Oh! He's is NOT!!
Me (turning to look at the obviously delusional woman I call my mother): What is wrong with you?
And then my sister and I look at each other to cluck and tsk at our mother in very real dismay that she could doubt the aesthetic qualities of RDJ.
And then we launched into a calculation as to how old he is at which point I declared that if he was in his mid twenties when he played in one of our favorite movies that we watched when we were like 13 (I'm 34) that he would have to be like 55 years old.
My sister said, "No. He would be in his mid forties. If you were 13 and he was 25, now you're 34 so he would be 46."
There was a long silence.
My sister looked at me.
More silence and I'm squinting up my eyes in thought.
Then I said, "I'm still working that one out in my head."
They all laugh hysterically.
And yes, I teach my children math, but I have books.
B
**And for the record he's 47.
You can see the rest of this session here under "Colby Armes".
1 comments:
I love these conversations! I will go on record I agree with you and your sister he is very hot. But then again I have a hot 55 year old at home so what can I say;)
I have no knowledge of lumberjacks and defer to you and your sister:)
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