If you are exiting Walmart and the alarm goes off...
there is, at that point, nothing you can do that would make you appear innocent.
Nothing.
Stop and look around with an irritated expression and angry posture with your hands on your hips because the stupid false alarm is taking up your precious time?
Guilty!
Stop and pat your coat pockets with a confused look and then continue to look through the bags in your cart as if trying to find the offending object that has OBVIOUSLY been paid for while trying to keep your face from turning a crimson color because everyone now thinks you're a thief?
Guilty!
Stop and wait patiently for someone to come look at your receipt and go through your bags as everyone looks on and you feel shamed and somehow guilty even though you've never stolen anything except that one time in seventh grade when you stole a stupid ring from Pier One Imports but you took it back?
Guilty!
Look over your shoulder as you start to sweat and sprint towards the second exit door?
Guilty!
It's a lose/lose situation.
Here is how I've learned to deal with it:
As I walk towards the door my pulse quickens.
But I remain steadfast in my attempt to exit the store with my dignity and honor.
As I stride over the threshold I hear the familiar buzzing.
I grip the cart with both hands, push my shoulders back, raise my head, slow my pace slightly (to almost a gentle stroll), keep my eyes ahead with no change to my expression and slip out into the bright, cleansing sunlight.
I guess one day I might end up getting tackled in the parking lot by an overzealous security worker, but I'm willing to take that chance.
If you see me in that situation you'll know what happened and you'll know it was all in the name of dignity and honor.
B
You can see the rest of this session here under "Jennings Family".
2 comments:
lovely addition to the sweet family
At least you weren't trying to carry a tv out between your legs with a false pregnant belly, seriously she was caught, I think you are doing just fine:)
Beautiful family, I swear Heather gets prettier every year I've known her (and for both of us I won't mention how many years that is)
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